Discord: How to See How Long You’ve Been Friends

Discord doesn’t show a “friends since” date directly on your profile or in the friends list, but you can still find out roughly how long you’ve known someone by digging into a few places. This guide walks you through the methods that work in the current Discord app, on both desktop and mobile, so you can settle that argument or just satisfy your curiosity.

What You’ll Need

Access to your Discord account (desktop app, browser, or mobile app)
The friend’s username or a mutual server where you can find them
For one method, you’ll need a mutual server with the friend and the ability to see message history there

Step-by-Step

Check the mutual server member list (desktop/browser). Open Discord and go to a server where you and the friend are both members. Look at the member list on the right side. Find the friend’s name, right-click (or long-press on mobile) their name, and select “View Profile”. In the profile popup, look for the “Member Since” field. This shows the date they joined that specific server, not when you became friends, but if you both joined on the same day (like when you joined together), it’s a good indicator.
Check your own profile for the same server. If you don’t remember when you joined a server, you can check your own profile in the same server to compare. Click your name in the member list, then click “View Profile”. The “Member Since” date will show when you joined. If the dates are close, you likely became friends around that time.
Look at the first DM you sent (if you still have it). Open your direct message with the friend. Scroll all the way to the top of the chat. If you’ve never cleared your chat history, the very first message will have a date on it. That date is when you first messaged each other, which is often the same day you became friends. If you don’t see a date, it might be because the conversation is too old or was cleared.
Check the “Friends” list sort options (mobile). On the Discord mobile app, tap the “Friends” tab at the bottom. Tap the icon that looks like a clock or sort icon (usually top right). You can sort by “Recently Added” or “Recently Interacted”. This doesn’t give an exact date, but if you remember roughly when you added them, this can help narrow it down.
Search for the friend in a server’s member list. If you don’t have a direct message with them, or you want to confirm, go to a mutual server, click the member list, and search for their name. Right-click (or long-press) their name and select “View Profile” again. The “Member Since” date is the most reliable date Discord shows, but it’s for the server, not the friendship.
Use a bot (if the server has one). Some Discord bots log when users join a server. If a bot like MEE6 or Dyno is in the server, you can often use commands like !whois [username] or !userinfo [username] to see when they joined the server. This is still a server join date, not a friendship date, but it’s another reference point.

Common Mistakes

Confusing “Member Since” with “Friends Since”: The “Member Since” date on a profile is for the server, not for your friendship. It only tells you when they joined that particular server, which might be much later or earlier than when you became friends.
Assuming the first DM date is the friendship date: You might have messaged each other before becoming friends (e.g., in a server), or you might have cleared your chat history. The first DM date is a good clue, but not a guarantee.
Checking a server you both joined later: If you and your friend joined a server together after you were already friends, the “Member Since” date will be later than your actual friendship. Always consider the context.

Tips

Combine multiple clues: Use the server join date, the first DM date, and your own memory of when you met (e.g., “We met in that game server in 2021”) to triangulate a rough date.
Check the “Member Since” on your own profile in a server you joined together: If you both joined a server on the same day, that’s likely the day you met and probably became friends. Compare your own “Member Since” with theirs.
If you have Discord Nitro, you can change your join date? No, you can’t. Don’t fall for any tricks that claim to show a “friendship date” — Discord simply doesn’t store that publicly.
Use the “Recently Added” sort on mobile: This can help you find the friend in your list if you have many friends, and you might remember the approximate time you added them.

Troubleshooting

You can’t see the “Member Since” field: If you right-click a user and don’t see “View Profile” or the profile doesn’t show a “Member Since” date, it might be because the server has disabled that feature, or the user has restricted their profile privacy. You can still try the DM method.
Your DM history is empty or cleared: If you scroll to the top and see no messages, the conversation might have been cleared by either of you. In that case, you can’t get the first message date. Try the server join date method instead.
You don’t share a server with the friend: If you don’t have a mutual server, you can’t see their “Member Since” date. Your only option is to check your DM history if you have one.
The bot command doesn’t work: Not all bots have this feature, or the server may have restricted bot commands. Check the bot’s documentation or ask the server admin for help.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does Discord show the exact date we became friends?

No. Discord does not display a “friends since” date anywhere in the app. The only dates shown are server join dates and message dates.

Can I see when I added someone as a friend on mobile?

Not directly. The mobile app doesn’t show a “friends since” date either. You can sort by “Recently Added” to see the order, but not the exact date.

Is there a way to see the first DM date if we cleared the chat?

No. Once a chat is cleared, the message history is gone for both users. You cannot recover the first message date after a clear.

Why does the “Member Since” date differ from when I think we became friends?

Because “Member Since” is the date they joined that specific server, not the date you became friends. You might have been friends for months before joining that server together.

Can I use a third-party app to see my friendship date?

No. Third-party apps cannot access Discord’s internal friendship data. Any app that claims to show this is likely a scam or violates Discord’s terms of service.

Does Discord plan to add a “friends since” feature?

Discord has not announced any plans to add this feature. For now, the methods above are the only ways to estimate how long you’ve been friends.

General steps for current mainstream versions; menus can differ by device and version. See the disclaimer or report an error.

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